“Those wrinkles weren’t there before,” the elderly woman remarks, gesturing at one of the photos of herself. “My eyes are getting covered up by the sagging skin.”
Shot by Lean Lui, the aforementioned photo is from The Time Goes By, a series inspired by and dedicated to the photographer’s septuagenarian grandmother.
Lui recalls the incident that sparked the idea for the series. “There was one time when I did her makeup, dressed her up, and took some photos of her. Everyone who saw the photos said she looked beautiful. I thought she’d be so happy, but it made her sad. She felt like all of her friends had aged gracefully. But when she looked at herself, she felt like she hadn’t. She felt her appearances now were worlds away from the beauty of her younger days.”
“年轻的时候是没有这些皱纹的，眼睛都被下垂的皱纹遮住了。”她指着照片中的自己说。
这系列照片是 Lean Lui 送给她婆婆的专题辑《The Time Goes By》，照片的灵感也是来自于年逾古稀的婆婆。
“有一次帮她化妆打扮拍照，每个人都说我把她拍得很漂亮，我以为她会很开心，但没想到她在看到照片的时候是闷闷不乐的。”Lean 说，“婆婆说以前那些长相一般的同学跟现在也没什么分别，很耐老，相反年轻时貌美如花的自己，一老就显出了太大的反差。”
As the Chinese saying goes, time wears away youth.
Lui considers herself as someone who’s always able to say the right things, and in this instance, she wanted to tell her grandma that she’s just as beautiful as ever. But seeing as how her grandma wasn’t comparing herself to anyone else but her past self, Lui struggled to find the right words.
“If it’s something you treasured and you lost it, the people who never had it won’t be able to empathize with the pain of losing it,” Lui says. “I could sympathize with her frustrations of aging, but I also understand that the past is the past. If your eyes droop, then it droops. If your skin is loose, then it’s loose. Aging is an inevitable part of life, but I also understand how scary it can be for many, especially women.”
岁月催人老。
面对这个问题，平时能言善辩的 Lean 语塞了。Lean 没有办法说出像“别这样说啦！你现在也很漂亮啊！”这样安慰人的话，因为婆婆比较的对象不是他人，正是年轻时候的自己。
“我明白，如果你不曾拥有，就不会担心失去的痛苦……我感受到她对岁月流逝的失落与无奈。我明白有些事发生了就是发生了，眼角下垂了就是下垂了，皮肤的确不再紧致了；人类的老化是无可避免的，也明白衰老对于女性来说是多么恐怖。”
“You really won’t be beautiful if you don’t appreciate the beauty you have now,” Lui told her.
“I’m already old and wrinkly, what beauty is there to speak of?” Lui’s grandmother sulked.
“你要是不懂得欣赏自己现在的美，那可就真的不美了哦。”Lean 这么告诉婆婆。
“现在又老又皱皮的，还有什么美可言？”婆婆说，但 Lean 知道这只是婆婆的赌气话而已。
But how exactly is beauty defined? When you’re young, you may have pretty eyes, a gorgeous face, and a perfect body, but is that all beauty is?
Lui decided to share the Japanese idea of wabi-sabi with her grandmother. This philosophy embraces aging and the imperfections that come with it, believing that the true essence of beauty lies in authenticity. “If you want to look like your younger self again, that’s impossible,” Lui told her. “But what you have now is wisdom and life experience, and I believe that the unconditional love you have for our family now is the most beautiful thing about you.”
我们是如何定义“美”的呢？年轻的时候，柳叶弯眉、明眸皓齿、亭亭玉立，这些固然是美，但“美”仅仅如此吗？
Lean 选择告诉婆婆日本的侘寂美学（wabi-sabi）是什么：那些经历岁月洗礼后遗留下来的，才是最本质最真实的美。“你要是要追求年轻的肉体的话，那真的是没有的了；但是你拥有的是睿智与生命阅历，再以我的角度而言，你现在的美，是美在对家人无条件的爱与牺牲。”
In truth, beauty and age shouldn’t be seen as relative with one another. While superficial traits are universally used to gauge beauty, the intangible factors that make a person “beautiful” are often discounted. Is the wisdom and experience that come with age not more meaningful than external beauty? This quote perhaps sums it up best:
“One day, I was already old, in the entrance of a public place a man came up to me. He introduced himself and said: ‘I’ve known you for years. Everyone says you were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you’re more beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your face as it is now. Ravaged.’”
–– An excerpt from Marguerite Duras’s The Lover
美，其实和年纪无关。普世价值中那狭隘定义的美丽，往往只是“美貌”，并非“美”的全貌。年岁何尝没有给过我们最丰厚的回赠呢？你看——
我已经老了，有一天，在一处公共场所的大厅里，有一个男人向我走来。他主动介绍自己，他对我说：“我认识你，永远记得你。那时候，你还很年轻，人人都说你美，现在，我特意来告诉你，对我来说，我觉得现在你比年轻的时候更美，那时你是年轻女人，与你那时的面貌相比，我更爱你现在备受摧残的面容。
——玛格丽特･杜拉斯《情人》
Lean Lui is currently hosting a solo exhibition in Hong Kong of a photo series based on the relationship between humans and nature. See below for details.
Event: Flow by Nature
Date: March 27, 2018 ~ May 12, 2018
Opening Hours: Tuesday ~ Saturday 11:00 am ~ 7:00 pm (closed on public holidays)
Address:
5th floor, Amber Commercial Building
70-74 Morrison Hill Road
Wanchai
Hong Kong
Website: ~/leanlui
Instagram: @leanlui
Contributor: Chen Yuan